Even traitors don't like being betrayed
by en-lumine
Summary: A page of Kurtis' diary before leaving his job under Gunderson. Rated for coarse language.


Basically, a STUPID idea! You know, when the muse bug bites, you cannot sleep until you get what it wants. So here it is…

It's a page from Kurtis' diary, what he wrote when he received the Periapt Shards and the Chirugaii from his father. He later found out that Gunderson worked for Eckhardt, and before packing his stuff, here are his thoughts. Please read and review.

Rated for violent language

"**Even traitors don't like being betrayed"**

7/24/01

WHAT the hell! Gunderson had worked for Eckhardt all along! That ass-hole worked for the damned Alchemist ALL ALONG! How worked up would he have thought of me, joining him; failing Dad! Every time before killing someone, whenever I used to ask questions, he always answered that, his boss had his enemies and it was personal business. Since a few days, after the package I received from Father, he seemed all weird and as if, he had something on his mind. For the first time I felt that he was scared of something, his 'blown-away' look really did rise a number of questions in me, but he wouldn't answer anything. It was the Shards all along! Those made him jump at shadows all the time. I got the letter of Dad's death today. Just yesterday, I got a letter from him saying that he was in danger and that was why he sent the Periapt Shards. I was fuckin' stupid enough to think that he would take care of himself. I should have left for him at that time.

It seems as if I've left no tears to cry. My dad, Father, who brought me up at his best... Wha? I'm having a change of heart I guess. For the first time maybe, I feel as if woken up by his death. My duty, being a Lux Veritatis, always seemed a burden to me. Me being the last… The damned fate of the world in my hands only; defeating the Cabal, and I worked for them all along!

I was shameless and pitiless from the start. Now I cannot even bear to look at myself in the mirror. Had _I_ been so inhuman? For Christ's sake, me! Had _I_ been so heartless that I refused to help my own father? For what he'd done (and tried to do) for me, that was how I'd repaid him. His love, support and encouragement, with my betrayal?

I had been a fool all along, and worse… THEIR FOOL! For 5 years, I grubbed under Gunderson… A Swiss mercenary, who actually worked for Eckhardt, MY bosom enemy. Even after 'abandoning' my title, I still had plans to go after Eckhardt, for I was never able to forget my true self. That bastard for murdering my mother and all the other Lux Veritatis members so that _I_ had to be the last one left behind.

But now I have another reason to go after him. He killed my father. My patience pushed way too over the edge. Gunderson was an idiot enough to talk with him on the phone, congratulating his "Meister" for murdering Father. "Trent received the letter for his death today. My poor soldier… He does not even know it were us. Now your mission is completely proof of obstacles."

Moreover, he had forgotten me standing right behind him, listening to every single word he was uttering. I could hear Eckhardt loud and clear over the phone too. "But Kurtis Trent _is_ a Lux Veritatis too. I have him left as a big wall in the way for my superior deed. Only if he cared."

I'm not easily surprised or caught off guard. But this time my mouth literally hung open. I muttered to myself "Son of a-" but shut myself up quickly. For if they crept up and destroyed my life forever, I'll sneak behind them and topple them and their 'superior deed' so hard that they'll never even dare to think of doing it again… Only if they'd LIVE to even think that. I would, with my own hands, destroy the Cabal, Eckhardt and Gunderson for making my present and my future a dark, dark passage. Now if I don't make their lives AND deaths shit, then I won't call my true self Kurtis Konstantine anymore. They made a grave mistake, and they'll be on their knees, begging for merciful death, but no. There is no possible way I'd forgive them for what they'd done to me.

I've suffered more than anyone else can imagine, and I won't let anyone in this world suffer the way I did. At first, I was plain jealous of every single person, for being 'normal'. I had wished that they'd be Lux Veritatis with me. But now, I will defend them, without their knowledge, from the world full of blood, vengeance and death.

The most shall suffer Gunderson, and he would live being tortured by it. How? I would betray him the way he betrayed me. I would leave him, and he himself would get to know that I had heard their little private conversation. I swear he'd wish that he'd never been born. But Marten, there's more than just brawn to your 'poor soldier'. Something that you'd never even think I have. And that is revenge. I'd love to see him trembling with fear of the new change my father's love brought in for me. I'd love to see his betrayed expression. And then he'll realize, that even traitors like himself don't like being betrayed.

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Like it? Hate it? Gimme a first shot at it… your mouse and the cute little purple button… PLEASE REVIEW! Enjoy! 


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